Quote Page
(Some funny, some sad, some inspirational, some evil)
 - some of my favorite famous (and not-so famous) lines.
"I'm not a tough guy...I'm dangerous." O'Sensei Joe P


9/23/05 - My mom has this weird, "You-should-be-a...." thing.  Sometimes it's doctor, sometimes teacher, or even Veterinarian.  This one is (thus far) my favorite...
"I've been thinking about it Joey...Know what you should be?  You should be a PRISON REVEREND.
      Because people like to talk to you, and you know the Bible...."
--My Mum  :)

"My Space is is like going to the "Girlfriend Store".
--Rob F

"He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.
And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me.
He who has found his life will lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake will find it.
--Matthew  10:37-39  (NASB)

"Hmmmm...what is this....I better taste it...."

"chillax bneavis"
--Kim R

"Wanna make out?"
(pulls up his towel to show his bare thigh....)
"I'm naked enough...."
--My 8 year old nephew Alex T. to his sisters 16 year old friend

--A. Hardman (ask, but in person, it is worth it)

7/7/05 -Preface: "Nonni" is an Italian word for "grandmother"
"You're breaking me over here, Nonni!"
--My 7 year old niece, Anna Tessari, in the middle of a real-money Texas Hold'em game

"My official title is -  "Rod-Man""
"yeah....yeah it does...."
--another Tony and I conversation

6/15/05 Warrior Bible quotes today

Exd 15:3  The LORD is a warrior; The LORD is His name.

Isa 42:13 The LORD will go forth like a warrior, He will arouse {His} zeal like a man of war. He will utter a shout, yes, He will raise a war cry. He will prevail against His enemies.

Neh 4:14 When I saw {their fear,} I rose and spoke to the nobles, the officials and the rest of the people: "Do not be afraid of them; remember the Lord who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives and your houses."

Psa 144:1 Blessed be the LORD, my rock, Who trains my hands for war, {And} my fingers for battle...

Luk 22:36 And He said to them, "But now, whoever has a money belt is to take it along, likewise also a bag, and whoever has no sword is to sell his coat and buy one."

Rev 2:10  Do not fear what you are about to suffer. Behold, the devil is about to cast some of you into prison, so that you will be tested, and you will have tribulation for ten days. Be faithful until death, and I will give you the crown of life.

Deu 32:41-42 If I sharpen My flashing sword, And My hand takes hold on justice, I will render vengeance on My adversaries, And I will repay those who hate Me. I will make My arrows drunk with blood, And My sword will devour flesh, With the blood of the slain and the captives, From the long-haired leaders of the enemy.'

 2Ti 4:7   I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith;


"Out of every 100 men,
...........................10 should not be here,
.....................................................80 are nothing but targets,
.................................................................................9 are the real fighters,
.................................................................................and we are lucky to have them,
.................................................................................for they the battle make."
"Ah, but the ONE,
............................ONE of them is a WARRIOR,
...........................................................................and he will bring the others back."
Heraclitus 500 BC

"I'd - rather - eat - her - - than - ummm - parsley...."
--A slightly buzzed Lloyd A

5/23/05 - a few from Warriortalk today
"Doesn't anybody out there just teach you to fight like a f**king psycho nutcase berserker Viking until you do enough damage to take a moment to draw your gun and finish it, if there is anything left to finish?"

"Warning shots are for wusses. Fire is for effect."

"Be polite. Be professional. But have a plan to kill everyone you meet."

"Learn to protect yourself. Police are not there to protect you. They are there to fill out paperwork and call the coroner's office."

"oh man... i made a breafast burrito.  i have decided that if i were to make out with a food... this week it would be breakfast burritos.  yes, said it."
--Meagan C.

"Remember that what you possess in this world will be found at the day of your death and belong to somebody else,
but what you are in this world will belong to you forever."
--Henry Van Dyke

"This is really live, Jeffffffff..."
-Alyssah (another "don't ask" type of things...)

"Cultivate your level of ferocity and capacity for violence."
Gabe Suarez -  WarriorTalk.Com

"If you and your mate always agreed on everything, one of you unnecessary"
--Chris A.

"misdemeanor assault"
"and felony assault w dangerous weapon (a washer dryer)"
--IM from Josh

--Kristen B (I don't even know what that is......)

"Well, I'm breastfeeding now...and boobs are huge, and my stomach is flat again...and Mom is like, 'You hootchie mamma!'"
--Cara (Yup, the *same* Cara...she is now someone's loving mother)

"I just embarrass them and make them uncomfortable on purpose, they deserve it if they don't come to class..."
--A Sensei that will go unnamed  :P

"See, the thing can be right or wrong, but either way......I'm still right....."

12/17/04 - yes, I'm back are a ton I've missed
"It's Alive"
--Jay, thanks for getting my computer running bro

"Stop overthinking and hit the guy"
"I came down to the subway and saw the guy with like 4 cops around him.  I was like, "Why isn't this guy bloody?  Who's gonna do it?  I guess *I'm* gonna do it.....""
--Tom C

"Hello, Lee!"
"Let me call you right back, I'm on the phone with the White House."
--A quick conversation between my sister an I

"Perform your technique from the tips of your toes to the top of your head"
--Dan O

"Beef, Chicken, Pork, Salmon, Turkey, Tuna, Crab, Squid, Lamb, Duck, Ostrich, Rabbit, Quail, and Shrimp"
--Jay and I (a list of the 14 different animals we each ate at the Brazilian Restaurant,"Green Field",  in one meal.  We were going to try Kangaroo, but they were out)

"I'm Rick James, bitch!"
--Dave C

"I always end by poking him in the ass..."
"Head, Back, Back ASS!"
--Craig F

"The humor would out-weight the funniness..."

"Human life is limited; but I would like to live forever."
--Yukio Mishima's last words, before committing seppuku.  This final act was due to his despondence over what he felt was the softening of Japanese society.

1/1/2004   I'm a bit behind, but here are some classic Cohn moments.  I will add more as they come to fruition
"I'm 27, my wife hasn't even been *BORN* yet."
"I Love Dorks." - as seen on the shirt of the girl Cohn picked up at the LotR marathon
"That would be "Admiral Akbar", ok?"
"My ki exploded his appendix..." -I said that, and it's true ;)

11.20/03 This one sounded so cool to me, kinda like the "have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moon light?" line from Batman.
"Do you know where the hidden dragon is on the way to the rainbow ring?"
--Steve C

10/25/03 another one I didn't get to put in because was down
"It's like playing a game of "RISK" .......with fish."
--Jay's wonderful observation of the strategy that goes into sharing a sushi boat for 2 w/me

10/23/03 I almost forgot this one - for more info, please check  's photo gallery
"He's the guarantor!"
--Jay and I

--(a drunken) Rob F

6/20-21 some from the belt test weekend
"And then you call....Buffalo..."

"Do you have any weapons on you?.....A lightsaber?"

"Abby.....Monday.....I'm giving you your orange belt."
--a grinning O'Sensei Joe after witnessing Abby  _*BLAST*_  some girl who came up and pushed her  ;)

"If I were Korean.......and a girl.......I'd be her."
Jim B

"You must tune three strings when you practice the shamisen. Most beginners cannot, so for their beginning stage, they ask their teacher to tune it for them instead of doing it themselves. But gradually, bit by bit, because they practice everyday, their feeling for the sound becomes sharper and sharper. Usually within a year or so, they have a trained ear for the sound and can tune it by themselves. So until then, teachers won't say anything very useful to their students. Teachers know there are no words to express how to feel the sound."
--Shodai Soke  comparing teaching (a form of) JiuJitsu to teaching how to tune a Shamisen (Japanese musical instrument).

"You.... you want one of these??!?"
--Brian B, ya gotta love that Latin heat

"Something mean, something cool.........  Jefffffff"
--Me  ;)

Every verse, read the whole thing
--Lao Tsu's   Tao Te Ching

"I'm getting my porn Angy, then we're going to bed!"
--Tom W.

"Operation "Nasty Butler" is under way!"
--Cohn, Jay, and I

"Say it...say it....  SAY IT!!!!!"
--Josh M (hehehehehehehehehe!!!!)

"Unanswered prayers are themselves answered."
--Nantuko teaching

"Anyone can snap her fingers and yank a soul.  I prefer to kill creatively."
--Braids, dementia summoner

"Please don't leave me messy
wash me after you eat on me  -Thanks THE TABLE"
--My Mom's note to me from the living room table before she left for vacation

"It's like riding a big bike....of pain!"
--Tony (in his agonized description of the sankyo I had him in)

"...Black-winged Night
       Into the bosom of Erebus dark and deep
   Laid wind-born egg, and as the seasons rolled
       Forth sprang Love, the longed-for, shining, with
   wings of gold."
--Aristophanes (Greek comic poet and playwright - on the origins of love)

For those of us that aren't up on our classical poetry...
"From darkness and from death Love was born..."
--Edith Hamilton (her synopsis of Aristophanes verse)

2/01/02 (from Pauline, one of my kids at the Community center)
"Is China on Hemorrhoids?"
--(after I explained to her that the reason the guys are so big in the WWF is because they use steroids - heh)

12/23/01 (
some random ones today)
"Depression is rage spread thin. "
--Paul Tillich

"The gerbil controls the left half of my body and the monkey controls my people skills.."
--Johnny B (

"Dude, it's ten o'clock, I can't stop drinking now!"
--Stephen C

"...and if pigs could whistle, they'd be on stage...."
--My brother Paul (
in the time honored tradition of our Aunt Stella)

"If hate was people, I'd be China!"
--City Slickers

12/13/01 (
a few from my little niece Cheyenne)
"Careful Uncle Joey....he nipples" (
talking about the puppies tendency to play bite)

"Uncle Joey....your kitten really wants to have babies" (in response to the wonderful sounds of a Siamese in heat)

"Did you hear what I was just saying inside of my head?"

"OK.....I'll go start the purchase and sales...."
--Ed O'Neil
(South Shore Motor Sports)

10/23/01 (be very afraid...)
Massachusetts ..... ...........Learner's Permit...............Class - M: Motorcycle"

"at 50 yards baby!! Yeah! 50!"
--Me (
private joke today, sorry)

........"Where can you get one of those things? Online... right?"
--My sis Cheryl (
out-take from a deep conversation about death and pulling the plug....responding to my statement -"You would have to sign a Living Will for that....")

"Keep your blade sharp and your arm strong and one day we'll all meet in a better place,where battles are still fought and princess's still need heroes and dragons still wish to be seen."
--Baz C

"A math team meeting? You need to go to Staples for a pocket protector or anything? Maybe pick up some Rogain to help out the Mope?"
---"It's not like that, it's not like the chess team or anything...."
--Brief exchange between Tony and I (
if the math team thinks the chess team is nerdy...who does the chess team pick on?)

"Dale? Dale?!?! Who the hell is Dale? Are you cheating on me?"
--Scotty and I (
I love the fact that he answered "no" so emphatically!)

"My telepathetic powers will kill you!"
--Cara Tessari (
again my niece is a shining example of modern education)

10/01/01 (
don't ask)
"My shoes LOVE you!!"
--Joe Tk

(I hate being's quote is for me, to remind me that I will arrive)
"Life has put you in a blind alley. You have no way to escape. The only choice left is to suffer.
Do not try to avoid it. On the contrary, seek your pain. Dissolve it in your saliva and then swallow it, digest it, assimilate it, make it part of you. Feel the walls of your heart detaching. Feel the muscles ripping away from your bones. Live the disintegration of yourself through your suffering. Consider yourself worthless. A pair of old sandals thrown at the roadside by a tired walker. An empty bottle thrown away by a drunken man without destiny. Consider yourself insignificant, which is what we really are. Cry, blaspheme against your God and burn his image if it is necessary. Listen to the silence of your loneliness. You are alone in the world. No one will be able to do anything for you. You are lost and helpless. Shattered. Once more, disintegrated in adversity. Go down to the depth of your torment. Die in each cell of your body.
But during you agony, only one thing should remain inviolate: a thin red thread that runs along your spine from beginning to end. May something, a minimum of consciousness and dignity, be confined within this space.
And when you have touched the bottom, your light body will then rise up to the surface and you will be able to breathe in again. You will discover that the contorted monstrosities you saw on the way into the abyss no longer exist in your return to light. Do not despair. It will take time to go back. The important thing is that you will arrive. No matter what happens, keep faith within your spine. You will arrive."
--L.E. Schultz

"If someone asked me what a human being ought to devote the maximum of his time to, I would answer, "Training."   Train more than you sleep."
--Masutatsu Oyama (Karate master)

"Increase my killing power, eh?"
--Homer Simpson

"Did you see my shirt?!"
"No Joey, I am..... NOT your bitch."
--brief exchange between my friend Amy and I on my birthday (Yeah, you know the shirt!)

"All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him, but you won't succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy. "
--Wayne Dyer

"She's a dirty old broad...."
--My Dad, mumbling to himself after my Mom kissed his cheek ;)

"Can we say 'Yo dog, I don't want any trouble!!!!' instead?"
--One of my students from the community center

"Irish McDrinkies!!, Drunken McShamrocks!!, PotatoeMcShitfaceds!!, Dirty McMullets?"
--Don't ask :p

"Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis. "
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

"AHHHHHHHH!!!!! Mark!! What the hell *IS* this stuff?"
--Paul (it seems my brother mistook Gold Bond medicated powder for baby appears this can be *quite* uncomfortable)

"Wow...nice ink...where'd you get it done?"
--"San Quentin."
"Ahhh....I was looking for someplace a little more...."
--exchange between a bar patron and I in Maine ("ink" was a reference to his tattoos)

6/10/01 (classic!)
"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
--Benjamin Franklin

"If I was a carpenter and you told me to build you a mansion - then supplied me with some popsicle sticks, a couple of toothpicks and a big ole pile of shit, we'd be in a little predicament. "
--Ray Campisi (a personal trainer) while discussing my diet (doh!)

"You can't hurt me!!! I'm invincible!!!!"
"Where did he go?!"
"....? Cara,  not invisible,   invincible."
"Oh........(long pause).......... what's invincible?"
--Brief exchance between my niece Cara and I

"When in as the Maine-ans"

"Where you throwin that shuto? Man....look here, Stevie Wonder could see that!"
--Shihan Jones (commenting on my (poor) choice of targets when throwing a full chop)

Think like a man of action, act like a man of thought.
-- Henri Louis Bergson

"How much can I rip you off for tonight?"
--Attendant at the Sunoco station down the street

"Hell is empty, and all the devils are here."
--William Shakespeare

"What's YOUR favorite way to drool?"
--Abby B (don't ask me....she said it)

"Careful!! She's backing up!!!!!"
--Abby B (after a rather LARGE woman's cell phone started beeping at the mall)

"Love is the harmony of two souls singing together. "
--Gregory J. P. Godek

"No amount of ability is of the slightest avail without honor."
--Andrew Carnegie

We wait all these years to find someone who understands us, I thought, someone who accepts us as we are, someone with a wizard's power to melt stone to sunlight, who can bring us happiness in spite of trials, who can face our dragons in the night, who can transform us into the soul we choose to be. Just yesterday I found that magical Someone is the face we see in the mirror. It's us and our homemade masks.
-- Richard Bach

"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity."
--Albert Einstein

5/22/01 Justin Gage Day...
"The love which I have embraced has burned me, unknowing I curled around its searing branches."

"Deathly dreaming of a meat on the cutting board, slicing edges off love and hate."

"Could human life be a curse that the gods use as a punishment for the rest of the universe?"

"Exquisite pain rushes through my body, teaching me life, teaching me love."

"My pain: an expression of my own dark paths, of my own dark will, and of my own creation - for I am the master and conductor of this hell."

"My tongue just didn't want to go that way....
........... it's all better now though."
--"Baby D" (she was talking about a slight lisp when she was a little kid....honest!)


--"yeah Dad?"

"I like you Betty...."
--J (on his 21st b-day, while his head was in a bucket, he *still* knew the endings to these classic lines)

"I'm gonna beat her in the face with an ox"
_ "An ox?"
_ ""That's a pretty WIDE animal to be so target specific....."
--conversation between Tony and I

"What the hell are you grinning at?"
--Fred Tessari

"If you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you."
--Friedrich Nietzsche

"TEAR IT UP!!!!!"
--Everyone at The Home Depot (when they hear me crashing into things on the machinery)

5/16/01 (holy brass set on this guy...)
"Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies."
- Voltaire (on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he renounce Satan.)

5/14/01 (lyrics today)
"You think a thing's impossible, then the sun refused to shine..."
--Dave Mathews

"You can't put a band-aid on death..."
--Sensei Tony A (head instructor of MIT jiujitsu)

"Look....there is 5'8" maybe 5'9" of body there....that means you have at least 5'8" worth of pain to give....find it!"
--Shihan Jones (head instructor and founder of the All Traditional Jujutsu Society)

"What's a hoova?"
--Mike B (a friend responding to a mass email titled "Anthony, she was a hoowa" (Sopranos))

"Actual happiness always looks pretty squalid in comparison with the over compensations made for misery. And, of course, stability isn't nearly so spectacular as instability. And being contented has none of the glamour of a good fight against misfortune, none of the picturesqueness of a struggle with temptation, or a fatal overthrow by passion or doubt. Happiness is never grand."
--Aldous Huxley (Mustapha Mond, Brave New World)

"Thats it.....I'm getting my stick..."
--Shihan Jones (to aid him in teaching those of us doing technique the importance of "Zanshin" (total awareness).

"But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags."
--Isaiah, chapter 26, verse 6

"In the depths of my heart, I can't help being convinced that my fellow men, with a few exceptions, are worthless."
--Sigmund Freud

"Evil will always triumph, because Good is dumb. "
--Dark Helmet

"Motorcycles? They're.....cold....."
"Com............fort. Comfort! They *must* be comfortable!"
--Anthony Tessari (my nephew and great friend, he's a funny bastard sometimes)

"I found freedom. Losing all hope was freedom."
--"Jack" - Fight Club

"Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent."
--Friedrich Nietzsche

"We love but once, for once only are we perfectly equipped for loving."
--Cyril Connolly

"God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh."

"Beware of worldly women my friend."
A Christian friend who has asked to remain anonymous because "I have no need for earthly fame." - wow, I wish my site made people famous ;)

It is time to awake. Suddenly, you have realized how fragile your beliefs were. Those that used to be your pillars are now only faint thoughts. The Almighty has played the old joke of taking away the chair on which you were going to sit every day. You have hurt yourself, you have felt pain, and this is also good. If you had fallen down over something soft, you would not have paid attention to it. But the truth is that you have landed on another reality. You are bewildered, your consciousness flustered. You do not understand anything of what has happened. You feel like you have wasted your time until now, and you may even feel shame for what you did before. Retrospectively, you will see yourself as somebody dedicated to futile things.
The pain blinds. Even if you do not understand it, know that what has happened to you is something marvelous. You are no longer the same as you were moments ago and, if you are wise enough, you will never be. Other things will matter now, you will climb other mountains. You will face other demons, other brothers will walk along with you. Live your new life, look with new eyes. Nevertheless, be prepared to be reborn. Again. Only by doing so will you be able to reach the end of the way.
--L.E. Schultz

4/23/01 (sorry for the private joke today, but this was too damn funny)
"I'm going to ask you some questions, and I want to have them answered IMMEDIATELY!"
"Who is your daddy and what does he do?"
--Arnold sound bites (as prank called to everyone Rob and Jay know)

"Pain is the best instructor, but no one wants to go to his class"
--Choi, Hong Hi

"I've bought a big bat, I'm all ready you see, now my troubles are going to have trouble with me!"
--Dr Seuss

"The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time. "
-- George Bernard Shaw

4/13/01 --------------------------------------SNL "deep thoughts" day!!!
"If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that's another weakness."

"Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what IS that thing?!"

"Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait, not me, you. "
-- Jack Handy

"The opposite of bravery is not cowardice but conformity. "
-- Robert Anthony

There is no chance, no destiny, no fate, that can circumvent or hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul.
-- Ella Wheeler Wilcox

"Losers always whine about 'Their Best'. Winners go home and f... the Prom Queen"
-- Sean Connery (The Rock)

"The mind has a thousand eyes and the heart but one;
Yet the light of a whole life dies when love is done. "
-- F. W. Bourdillon

"The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist fears it is true."
-- J. Robert Oppenheimer

"For what profit is it to man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?"
-- Mathew 16:26

"Hope springs eternal...."
-- Alexander Pope

He reflected deeply, until this feeling completely overwhelmed him and he reached a point where he recognized causes; for to recognize causes, it seemed to him, is to think, and through thought alone feelings become knowledge and are not lost, but become real and begin to mature.
-- Hermann Hess

Remember that happiness is a way of travel - not a destination.
-- Roy M. Goodman

What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight-it's the size of the fight in the dog.
-- Dwight D. Eisenhower

"We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of the dreams."
-- Willy Wonka

You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.
-- Plato

3/31/01 (thanks Lee)
It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by the dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again . . . who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions and spends himself in a worthy course; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who, at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly; so that this place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory or defeat.
-- Theodore Roosevelt

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
--Mark Twain

Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't.
--Richard Bach



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